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Starlettes Find Shoppers' Heaven
By Kathy Johnson
I'm unhappy to report,
Ashlee's dad didn't pay his child support.
And read on!
***
DOWN TO PENNEYS Ashlee was broke, folks. No joke!
With (La)cost of clothes and her Limited budget,

Ashlee felt clothes-deprived!
And when you're clothes-deprived
How do you survive?
I mean, how happy can you be
With clothes as old as Anthropologie.
I mean, GEE!
How happy can you be
When your Perse is empty!
But Ashlee was not your normal poor folk!
Because Ashlee was: Young, Fabulous and Broke.
And Ashlee was on a Rampage
To keep up her stylin' image.
What do you do when you have money woes
When you don't have money to buy new clothes?
One thing is positively FOR SURE:
You cant exist without Juicy Couture!
Ashlee was scrappin'
Then a wonderful thing happened
SHE WAS LIKE SEE'RS
It was like an epiphany:
It was really uncanny!
It was such good luck !
Lightning had struck.
It was a B-"rainstorm" -
A True Religion transform!
And you'll never Guess what
Ashlees Eureka moment was?
Ashlee, being quite the smarty,
Envisioned having a Clothes Swap party!
Oh, Y.E.S.!!
She'd get that Marc Jacobs dress yet!
Oh! Wow and Woopee!
Now she'd get BCBG!
Ashlee WAS sooo relieved
Because Ashlee staunchly believed:
Money cannot buy happiness
Unless it's money for a little, black dress!
NICKEL AND DIAMOND!
Who needs money,
When you've got brains, honey?
And Ashlee showed no Buffalo brains
When she chose to have this Clothes Exchange.
When Ashlee Express-ed her notion,
The Starlettes Gap-ped (errr . . . gasped) with emotion.
It was such a Splendid idea:
A no-money panacea!
It was such a fun ploy
That would bring tons of Joie.
And rows and rows
Of Real Clothes.
A way to get Arden B.
And also Sunny Leigh.
Kensie. Alfani.
Tahari. Armani.
And We Be Free!
Oh, me.
A total shopaholic
Frolic!
WET SEAL THE DEAL!
Ashlee's fab' Theory was
All the big buzz!
Soon, word spread
To everyone who loved thread!
A clothes-swap was the cure:
The way to get LuLu Couture!
The way to get earrings
Choos, Perses and other bling!
The Starlettes got so Unplugged,
They gave each other hugs.
This was a win-win.
Time to begin, then!

AMERICAN GIRL TIME!
Give it a think:
Ashlee, INC

To have a career in clothes design!
So: Was this Ashlee's big sign
To start her own clothes line?
Y.E.S.
You "Bet"-sey!
She'd reinvent every old dress
And create designs to impress.
She'd sew designer copies
And they wouldn't be sloppies!
Her clothes would be Sugar Lips!
They would become ego-trips!
Her clothes would be unique
And turn people into chic!
No clothes would be finer
She'd be a top designer!
And in her Parallel universe
Her clothes would have great worth.
Shed appeal to girls vanity
And all Citizens of Humanity.
In this Alternative Earth
Her designs would be FIRST!
Ashlee's designs would be loved by Plenty
Especially the Rich and Skinny!
But enough
of this ego stuff.
SMART AS WALMART
Since teens bought on Impulse
Shed have great results!
Haute Hippie.
Yippee!
Missoni.
Everyone wanted it.
French Connection.
Every girl's confection!
Woo! Hoo!
XOXO.
Philip Lim.
Miss Me Denim.
Isabel Lu.
Tahari, too.
We Be Free.
Oui!
Ashlee was only a Coach lass,

But shed swap with First Class:
Shed get Lizzies St. John knits
And Skylars Prada outfits.
BRIGHTON UP!
Well: Time for Ashlee to be a whiz
And get down to shop-biz!
Ashlee had a Crew of one.
Yes, Chloewas in on all the fun!

Who loved Hollister and looked A-lister!
Without Baby Phat , looking Forever 21,
Chloe 'tween chatted about clothes a ton!
Ashlee and Chloe got off to a good start
By filling up the Laundry cart!
Then, they hit all the thrift shops
And collected Majestic skirts and tops.
In one thrift store, the girls found bags
Of Kohls
and even some American Rags.
In another thrift store, they got cast-offs
Natorious enough to make them scoff.
But then they went UGG!
Because the clothes were so cute-y-bug!
"Wow" and then and over and over again:
The girls became ambitious ironers
And Chanel-led up the famous designers.
And they got quite a stitch
Out of Abercrombie and Fitch!
They applied Lilly appliqués

ToAmerican Eagle berets.
And added Aqua accents
Without any great expense.
"to-Dior-for"
So everyone could afford more.
So what if Ashlee, INC wasn't a famous name
Not everyone could be Elizabeth and James.
Everyone was sooo impatient
to snap up Ashlee's cute creations.
Her clothes were just too slick:
Ashlee was "Rock and Republic"!
CACHE ON DISPLAY
The day before Clothes Swap Day,
The clothes were put on display
And they were arranged in rows
To best showcase the clothes.
The Starlettes loved being able to preview
The clothes before their big debut!
After all, 7 for All Mankind
(Chloe and the Six Starlettes)
Were all looking for that special find!
When the girls saw the clothes, they all started raving!
Seeing all the Lucky Brands put them in Seventh Haven!
And when one girl delivered her Rachel Roy
She brought the whole place lots more Joie!!
Everyone knew what the Clothes Exchange meant.
It meant getting Vincewithout paying a cent.
It was Petticoat Alley!
It was Lilly of the Valley!

Skylar's Nanette Lapore.

Sallee's Michael Kors!

Lizzie's Gucci!

Jinnie's Pucci!

Sallee's trench Burberry,

And Bekka's old Theory.
There was Levi
And DKNY.
H&M and Delia's,
Charlotte Russe and Stellas.
All the girls were psyched!
Every brand they liked.
But Trust Me, no foodling. There was one missy -
Who was in a terrible tizzy.
Should Lizzie give up her Candies and Pastry?
That idea was soooo not tasty!!
Peanuts had her eye on a red Coach leash.
Peanut was loving L.A.M.B. and acting nouveau riche!
Jinnie sooo wanted some argyle and plaid
And the checkered Armani socks got her really glad!

And couldn't wait to make her trade!
When Sallee saw some blue Juicy sweats

She wanted them even more than debts.
Skylar was in a frenzy
Over Louis Vuitton and Kensie.
Valentino.
Malandrino.
Alice+Olivia, Cynthia Steffe, Tory Burch!
Volce Vita, Rebecca Taylor, James Perse.
Lilzzie was loving all the loot!
She especially adored the Ferragamo boots.
Ashlee's Clothes Swap had caught on so quick
Kids all over were going Bananas Republic!
Bebe, This Clothes Swap had become huge-prime!
This Clothes Swap was now BIG TIME!
BOYCOTT.ON!
There was a whole lot of noise
Being made about the boys:
All the Starlettes were buzzed.
What a lovefest this was.
Yes, the Starlettes were in love
But not with the ball and glove!
SALLEE: I love Tommy.
LIZZIE: Marc's for me
BEKKA: Calvin's my fave!
SKYLAR: No, Ralph's the rage.
ASHLEE: Michael rocks my socket!
JINNIE: I love Jake and Rocket!
The Starlettes were definitely singing hymns
But these songs were no Hims!
All this noise
was DEFINITELY not about boys.
From head to toes.
These girls were Red Haute about CLOTHES!
SAK IT!
Ashlee couldnt wait for the Clothes Exchange tomorrow.
For her it meant: "Never having to say you'll borrow!"
For the Starlettes, the Clothes Exchange was cool
So cool they came up with a new Starlette Rule:
Dont ever check out the rags
Until youve checked the back tags!
The Starlettes could not be stopped:
They intended to shop til they dropped.
The Starlettes now had a new calling:
It was called SWAPPING - not MALLING!
The best part was this buzz:
It was a shopping spree!
Y.E.S.
A total fantasy!
And it was Free People. free!
THE EVENING BEFORE THE CLOTHES SWAP
The worst part of the Clothes Swap was
This buzz:
A fierce, fashionista Ghost could be found
floating around
surveying the ground
Wanting that red gown.
This Ghost was a total spook
Who wanted to steal the loot -
And was eager to cause upheaval
Because she was totally 'Eva'L!
She caused 'Eva'L wherever she could.
This Ghost was up to no good.
Yes, 'Eva'L was afoot -
And not shopping for CHOOS!
She was one bad "ghoul"!
Who granted Justice to fools!
She was one Glammin' Ghost
Who loved most to boast
That it was her Twisted Heart.
That made her so evil-smart.
This Ghost had Ashlee-hate
And shed seal Ashlees fate:
Shed steal Ashlees party:
And it would feature: Ed Hardy!
Look whos in PETticoat Alley!
Its Punkin
Give her a strut.
Punkins all the moan
Over Rag and Bone!
Punkin LOVES CLOTHES
WITH BOWS! WOW!
A good bargain, Punkin can sniff.
She just "nose" she's got the gift!
Punkin is such a fashion hound
And shell look great in that red gown!
Whe n Punkin was on Skylars bed
She misunderstood what Skylar said:
Skylar said she just loved D-O-G!
But Punkin thought she said D&G.
HOOOWL Could Punkin make
Such an important mistake?
Stop back often and join the fun
The Starlettes Universe has just begun!
Starlettes and ©2010 Kathy Johnson All Rights Reserved
Site and all its content ©2010 Kathy Johnson
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