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Ashlee's so just
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when she's smilin'!


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Wholesome experience and advice for pre-teen and teen girls and the entire family.


Evil Eva's
A Devilish Diva!
the evil zombie witch eva
There's always someone
to spoil the fun,
and Eva's evil is never done!
Conniving and smart,
she's lacking a heart.
Beware of this dud
It's said she sucks blood!


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Need Homework Help? Email Bekka!
The Starlettes' genius in residence knows more than most Presidents!


Meet Starlettes™ creator Kathy Johnson
Kathy Johnson, lawyer and web narrator . . .
is the Starlette Universe creator!

Her kid Katy J is a beauty queen
who brought Starlettes to Pageantry Magazine!

For 8 years, Starlettes appeared in Pageantry.
And now Starlettes are here in all their majesty!

So, for all you gals who twinkle and grin:
The Starlette phenomenon is set to begin!


Meet the Starlettes' Artist: Satirist Dick Kulpa
From political cartoons to satire magazines,
Cartoonist Dick Kulpa's been at the scenes!

Newspapers galore have published his strips;
Because of the Starlettes, he's learned to draw lips!

As 'Captain Cartoon' he paints near the waters;
And draws lots of girls, since he's trained by his daughters!

That's why the Starlettes, as pretty as pearls,
are destined to become 'America's Girls!'


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STARLETTE UNIVERSE™ features teen girl and pre-teen girl humor, poetry and verse, puns, cartoon features and comic strips, offering fun and frolic — and sage — advice

Starlettes™ and ©2010 Kathy Johnson All Rights Reserved



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Official Website of America's Sweet 'Arts...the Famed Starlettes!


From NADA to PRADA!

Starlettes Find Shoppers' Heaven

By Kathy Johnson

Ashlee
I'm unhappy to report,
Ashlee's dad didn't pay his child support.
Sooooooo groan.
And read on!

***
DOWN TO PENNEYS
Ashlee was broke, folks.  No joke!

With (
La)cost of clothes and her Limited budget, ashlee figure
Ashlee felt clothes-deprived!
And when you're clothes-deprived —
How do you survive?

I mean, how happy can you be —

With clothes as old as Anthropologie.
I mean, GEE!
How happy can you be —
When your
Perse is empty!

But Ashlee was not your normal poor folk!

Because Ashlee was:
Young, Fabulous and Broke.
And Ashlee was on a Rampage

To keep up her stylin' image.


What do you do when you have money woes —

When you don't have money to buy new clothes?
One thing is positively FOR SURE:

You can’t exist without
Juicy Couture!

Ashlee was scrappin'

Then a wonderful thing happened

SHE WAS LIKE ‘SEE'RS

It was like an epiphany:
It was really uncanny!
It was such good luck !
Lightning had struck.

 It was  a  B-"rainstorm" -

A True Religion transform!
And you'll never
Guess what —
Ashlee’s Eureka moment was?

 Ashlee, being quite the smarty,

Envisioned having a Clothes Swap party!

Oh,
Y.E.S.!!
She'd get that Marc Jacobs dress yet!
Oh! Wow and Woopee!

Now she'd get BCBG!

Ashlee WAS sooo relieved —

Because Ashlee staunchly believed:
Money cannot  buy happiness

Unless it's money for a little, black dress!

NICKEL AND ‘DIAMOND’!

Who needs money,

When you've got brains, honey?
And Ashlee showed no Buffalo brains —

When she chose to have this Clothes Exchange.

When Ashlee Express-ed her notion,
The Starlettes Gap-ped (errr . . . gasped) with emotion.
It was such a
Splendid idea:
A no-money panacea!

It was such a
fun ploy –
That would bring tons of Joie.

And rows and rows —
Of Real Clothes
.

A way to get Arden B.
And also Sunny Leigh
.
Kensie. Alfani.
Tahari. Armani.

And We Be Free!

Oh, me.
A total shopaholic —

Frolic!

WET SEAL THE DEAL!

Ashlee's fab' Theory was —

All the big buzz!
Soon, word spread —

To everyone who loved thread!

A clothes-swap was the cure:

The way to get
LuLu Couture!
The way to get earrings —

Choos, Perses and other bling!

The Starlettes got so Unplugged
,
They gave each other hugs.
This was a win-win.

Time to begin, then!
starlette girls

AMERICAN GIRL TIME!

Give it a think:

Ashlee,
INC

Ashlee in her new fashionIt had always been in Ashlee's mind —
To have a career in clothes design!
So: Was this Ashlee's big sign —

To start her own clothes line?

Y.E.S.
You "Bet"-sey!

She'd reinvent every old dress —

And create designs to impress.
She'd sew designer copies —

And they wouldn't be sloppies!

Her clothes would be Sugar Lips!

They would become ego-trips!
Her clothes would be unique —
And turn people into chic!

No clothes would be finer —

She'd be a top designer!
And in her Parallel universe —

Her clothes would have great worth.

She’d appeal to girls’ vanity –
And all Citizens of Humanity.
In this Alternative Earth
Her designs would be FIRST!

Ashlee's designs would be loved by
Plenty
Especially the Rich and Skinny!
But enough —

of this ego stuff.

SMART AS WALMART

Since teens bought on Impulse

She’d have great results!
Haute Hippie.
Yippee!

Missoni.
Everyone wanted it.
French Connection.
Every girl's confection!

Woo! Hoo!

XOXO.
Philip Lim.

Miss Me Denim.

Isabel Lu.
Tahari, too.
We Be Free.
Oui!

Ashlee was only a Coach lass,lizzie
But she’d swap with First Class:
 She’d get Lizzie’s  St. John  knits—
And  Skylar’s Prada outfits.

BRIGHTON UP!

Well:  Time for Ashlee to be a whiz —

And get down to shop-biz!

Ashlee had a Crew of one.

Yes, Chloewas in on all the fun!
BekkaTen-year-old Chloe was Ashlee's sister —

Who loved
Hollister and looked A-lister!

Without Baby Phat , looking Forever 21
,

Chloe 'tween chatted about clothes a ton!
Ashlee and Chloe got off to a good  start

By filling up the Laundry cart!

Then, they hit all the thrift shops —

And collected Majestic
skirts and tops.
In one thrift store, the girls found bags
Of
Kohl’s
 and even some American Rags.

In another thrift store, they got cast-offs —
Natorious enough to make them scoff.
But then they went
UGG!
Because the clothes were so cute-y-bug!

"Wow" and then – and over and over again:

The girls became ambitious ironers —

And
Chanel-led up the famous designers.
And they got quite a stitch —

Out of
Abercrombie and Fitch!

They applied
Lilly appliqués —skylar
To
American Eagle  berets.
And added
Aqua accents —
Without any great expense.

"to-
Dior-for"
So everyone could afford more.
So what if Ashlee,
INC wasn't a famous name —
Not everyone could be
Elizabeth and James.

Everyone was sooo impatient —

to snap up Ashlee's cute creations.
Her clothes were just too slick:
Ashlee  was "
Rock and Republic"!

CACHE ON DISPLAY

The day before Clothes Swap Day,
The clothes were put on display —
And they were arranged in rows —
To best showcase the clothes.

 
The Starlettes loved being able to preview —

The clothes before their big debut!
After all,
7 for All Mankind
(Chloe and the Six Starlettes)
Were all looking for that special find!

When the girls saw the clothes, they all started raving!

Seeing all the Lucky Brands put them in Seventh Haven!
And when one girl delivered her Rachel Roy

She brought the whole place lots more Joie!!

Everyone knew what the Clothes Exchange meant.

It meant getting Vincewithout paying a cent.
It was Petticoat Alley!
It was Lilly of the Valley!

Skylar
Skylar's Nanette Lapore.

Sallee
Sallee's Michael Kors!

Lizzie
Lizzie's Gucci!

Jinnie
Jinnie's  Pucci
!

Sallee
Sallee's trench
Burberry,

Bekka
And Bekka's old Theory
.

There was Levi

And
DKNY.
H&M and Delia's,
 Charlotte Russe and Stella’s.

All the girls were psyched!

Every brand they liked.

But Trust Me, no ‘food’ling.
There was one missy -
 Who was in a terrible tizzy.
Should Lizzie give up her Candies and Pastry?
That idea was soooo not tasty!!

Peanuts had her eye on a red
Coach leash.
 Peanut was loving
L.A.M.B. and acting nouveau riche!
Jinnie sooo wanted
some argyle and plaid —
And the checkered Armani socks got her really glad!

JinnieBekka spied a faboosh
Kate Spade
And couldn't wait to make her trade!
When Sallee
saw some blue Juicy sweatsSallee
She wanted them even more than debts.

Skylar was in a frenzy

Over Louis Vuitton and
Kensie.
Valentino.
Malandrino.

Alice+Olivia, Cynthia Steffe, Tory Burch!
Volce Vita, Rebecca Taylor, James Perse.
Lilzzie was loving all the loot!

She especially adored the Ferragamo boots.

Ashlee's Clothes Swap had caught on so quick
Kids all over were going Bananas Republic!
Bebe, This Clothes Swap had become huge-prime!
This Clothes Swap was now
BIG TIME!
BOYCOTT.ON!

 There was a whole lot of noise —
Being made about
the boys:
All the Starlettes were buzzed.

What a lovefest this  was.

Yes, the Starlettes were in love —
But not with the ball and glove!

SALLEE:  I love
Tommy.
LIZZIE:  Marc's for me

BEKKA:
  Calvin's my fave!
     SKYLAR:  No, Ralph's the rage.

ASHLEE: 
Michael rocks my socket!
JINNIE:
  I love Jake and Rocket

The Starlettes were definitely singing ‘hymns’—
But these songs were no
Hims!
All this noise

was DEFINITELY not about boys.

From head to toes.

These girls were Red Haute about CLOTHES!

 
‘SAK’ IT!

Ashlee couldn’t wait for the Clothes Exchange tomorrow.

For her it meant:
"Never having to say you'll borrow!"
For the  Starlettes, the Clothes Exchange  was cool —
So cool they came up with a new Starlette Rule:

Don’t ever check out the rags —

Until you’ve checked the back tags!
The Starlettes could not be stopped:
They intended to shop ’til they dropped.

The Starlettes now had a  new calling:
It was called SWAPPING - not ‘MALLING’!
The best part was – this buzz:
It  was a  shopping spree!

Y.E.S.

A total  fantasy!
And it was
Free People. free!

THE ‘EVE’NING BEFORE THE CLOTHES SWAP

The worst part of the Clothes Swap was —
This buzz:

A fierce, fashionista Ghost could be found —

 floating around —
surveying the ground —
Wanting  that red gown.

This Ghost was a total spook —

Who wanted to steal the loot -
And was eager  to cause upheaval —

Because she was totally 'Eva'L!


She caused 'Eva'L wherever she could.
This  Ghost was up to no good.


Yes, 'Eva'L was afoot -
And  not  shopping for
CHOOS!
She was one bad "ghoul"! —
Who granted  
Justice
to fools!

She was one Glammin' Ghost
Who loved most to boast —
That it was her
Twisted Heart.
That made her so evil-smart.

This Ghost had Ashlee-hate
And she’d seal Ashlee’s fate:
She’d steal Ashlee’s  party:
And it  would feature
: Ed Hardy!

Look who’s in PET’ticoat Alley!

It’s P
unkin
Give her a strut.
P
unkin’s all the moan
Over
Rag and Bone!

P
unkin LOVES CLOTHES –
WITH BOWS! WOW!

A good bargain, P
unkin can sniff.
She  just "nose" she's got the gift!
Punkin
is such a fashion hound —
And she’ll look great in that red  gown!

Whe
n Punkin was on Skylar’s bed —
She misunderstood what Skylar said:
 Skylar said she just loved
D-O-G!
But  Punkin thought she said D&G.

HOOOWL Could Punkin make
Such an important mistake?

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The Starlettes™ Universe has just begun!


Starlettes™ and ©2010 Kathy Johnson All Rights Reserved
Site and all its content ©2010 Kathy Johnson
Yes you can advertise here! For advertising, licensing and all other queries email Starlette Universe


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